Divine Advice - Part 2

Summoning a higher power

If your question is have I gone insane, then the answer is probably yes, but this is pretty mundane in comparison to the stuff that happens in my other work. Maybe more hilarious, but not necessarily more insane.

–Beginning Basic Narration of Recording 11–

“I think it is working now,” Sarela says as her fake eyes stare straight at the recorder.

“It is,” Lapadj confirms.

“I would apologize for that, but I was severely provoked,” the Szarehan states. “Summoning a minor God? Why?”

“Why not? It would be Empirian, no? Calling a minor God and questioning them on their pillars or whatever seems very Empirian to me,” Lapadj wonders aloud. He walks away from the visible Szarehan and into what best can be described as a meager kitchen.

“Empirian it might be but you are on Earth, cloaked, and supposed to be integrating with Human society, not communing with a God to test your beliefs,” Sarela says. “How are you even going to summon this God. What was his name? Her name?”

Lapadj stops moving. “Probably her…programming involves creation. Definitely female. A Goddess, then.”

“And this Goddess’s name?” Sarela questions.

“That is a great question,” Lapadj murmurs. “The Spine does not have a specific one. Apparently this Goddess is so minor and forgotten that no name has been attributed to her.”

“Great. Any ideas on what to do in order to call her?”

Lapadj does not immediately answer her question; he walks further into the kitchen. Head tilting around and hands clawing at random surfaces, he looks for something unknown. His eyes eventually linger on a pinkish sphere sitting on a discrete edge of the corner. He walks over and picks it up. He shows it to Sarela and the recorder.

“I will offer this up and say some words,” Lapadj says.

“What is ‘this’?” Sarela asks, floating over and staring at the object. “Some sort of organic abomination?”

“It is a piece of food known as the ‘grapefruit’. Anna gave it to me today. She said it was healthy or something,” Lapadj explains. He holds the fruit in his clutches, staring at it intently. “Maybe it shall have some user after all.”

“Graypehfvruite,” Sarela eloquently butchers. “Orak ha, you just said shall.” She revolves around in a mockery of shaking one’s head.

Sauntering over to the middle of the room, Lapadj gets on his knees and holds the grapefruit up. Sarela and the recorder shift to get an excellent view of him without straying to close.

“Goddess of Programming, please take this offering in exchange for your wisdom,” Lapadj begins to speak. “My Neraq has been occupied with the philosophies and customs of the Humans in regards to your art. I need to know whether they are wrong or not. Please answer my prayer.”

A crackle of divine energy coursed through the air. Sarela makes a Szarehan gasp of a noise and Lapadj finds that the grapefruit has been seized from his hands. A thud reverberates through the space as something appears before them. It is a medium sized metallic pyramid, reminiscent of books from the Empire. Lapadj slides his hands onto the ground and leers slightly over it. A pattern flushes over it.

“Shalaeyah?” he dubiously greets.

“Shalaeyah,” the pyramid returns and the recorder again shudders into failure.

–Ending Basic Narration of Recording 11–